Why Parenting Experts Think All Children Throw Tantrums
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The initial step in raising children free of tantrums for their whole childhood is to no longer believe what parenting experts have been advising us for decades-that temper tantrums are a natural, normal, unpreventable, and highly inevitable part of bringing up children. This is just not so. Virtually all kids could be brought up tantrum-free if only the caregivers knew how to do it. I can help you learn how. My first five children all threw temper tantrums and my last eight did not. When my fifth baby was fourteen months old, I discovered what it was I needed to change in my parenting style, and by the time a week or so had gone by he'd finished throwing tantrums forever. None of my last eight children ever threw tantrums because I had taught them from their births on that they could trust that I would respond how they needed to their anger.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I doubt that any parent could possibly learn everything there is to learn about parenting with only one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I learned crucial skills with my fourth and fifth children. And I'm still learning. Parents usually like to keep their parenting imperfections hidden, though. No one enjoys openly admitting to their parenting faults.
So, this is how I think the tantrum-universality misconception came to life. The parenting experts (who got that way mainly from attending college and not so much from having and raising kids) typically have a greater-than-average need to look like perfect parents. Because they are calling themselves expert parents, there is an implication that they are almost perfect at the job.
But shortly after becoming parents, the bulk of these experts find their own children throwing tantrums. This proves out their textbook learning about tantrum universality, because if even the experts (themselves) have tantrum-throwing children, of course no inexpert parent could do any better, right? Wrong. There have been millions of parents of the inexpert variety who have raised tantrum-free kids. I think tantrum-free child rearing is generally possible, and preferable. Compared to the alternative, it's also a more enjoyable form of parenting for all parties involved, including the general public. I can help you learn how to create a parenting style totally free of tantrums.
Where might the myth of tantrum universality have originated from-besides that it was handed down through generations? It hasn't been clear how many kids parenting experts have had on average, but by my limited pre-Wikipedia and pre-Internet research of twenty or so years ago, it was perhaps one or two each, and it hasn't likely increased since then. Most parenting experts who write books seem averse to disclosing how many children they've raised. We're often left to guess, judging from the number of people they've dedicated their books to. I'm not kidding.
I doubt that any parent could possibly learn everything there is to learn about parenting with only one or two preschoolers or even one or two teenagers. I learned crucial skills with my fourth and fifth children. And I'm still learning. Parents usually like to keep their parenting imperfections hidden, though. No one enjoys openly admitting to their parenting faults.
So, this is how I think the tantrum-universality misconception came to life. The parenting experts (who got that way mainly from attending college and not so much from having and raising kids) typically have a greater-than-average need to look like perfect parents. Because they are calling themselves expert parents, there is an implication that they are almost perfect at the job.
But shortly after becoming parents, the bulk of these experts find their own children throwing tantrums. This proves out their textbook learning about tantrum universality, because if even the experts (themselves) have tantrum-throwing children, of course no inexpert parent could do any better, right? Wrong. There have been millions of parents of the inexpert variety who have raised tantrum-free kids. I think tantrum-free child rearing is generally possible, and preferable. Compared to the alternative, it's also a more enjoyable form of parenting for all parties involved, including the general public. I can help you learn how to create a parenting style totally free of tantrums.
About the Author:
Learn more about how toeliminate tantrums . Visit Leanna Rae Scott's site to learn how to prevent temper tantrums.
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