Effective Discipline Must Be Positive Discipline: What Doesn't Work And What Does, And Why
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Effective discipline with children is always based on respect for that child. Parents must always be in charge of children in a loving, firm, fair, non-harsh, and respectful way if the children are to respond positively to the discipline. If parents are in charge in a disrespectful way, their children could easily react with retaliatory, manipulative, or stubborn expressions of their anger or with tantrums.
By being in charge, I'm talking about being the person or persons who are in command, managing, directing, in authority, responsible, taking charge, and running the show.
For any discipline method to be used effectively by a parent, in an overall sense, it must be a respectful method. By effective, I mean that the child becomes compliant, without being alienated from the parent or parents. One extremely effective method for restoring compliance is Counting children. Counting is the numeric warning parents give their children to indicate that if the children don't "listen up" and do what they're told to do by the time the "magic" number is reached, there will be immediate consequences.
Probably the best and easiest time to teach a child that you are the person in charge is when that child is first starting to dish out defiance, which is typically between four and ten months old. Counting works just as well with babies this age (after they've learned how it works) as it does with fully grown children and all sizes in-between. Even little babies understand the friendly warning tone that accompanies Counting.
Another effective discipline aspect is that the functional consequence given must nullify the benefits the child earns through the commission of the offense. In other words, the consequence must be tough enough for the child to think the misbehavior was not worth it, but not so tough that the child feels disrespected. For instance, groundings have to be long enough and short enough to produce something near the middle of (1) the child's perception that the benefit was certainly worth the consequence and (2) the child's detesting of your innards. My personal Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula come in handy whenever Grounding is a fitting consequence. (Consequences should also fit the offense.)
Discipline techniques come in many varieties. As parents choose which ones to use, it's good for them to be mindful of (1) how respectful are the methods to children, and (2) are they appropriately and adequately, yet not overly consequencing to the children for their misbehavior.
By being in charge, I'm talking about being the person or persons who are in command, managing, directing, in authority, responsible, taking charge, and running the show.
For any discipline method to be used effectively by a parent, in an overall sense, it must be a respectful method. By effective, I mean that the child becomes compliant, without being alienated from the parent or parents. One extremely effective method for restoring compliance is Counting children. Counting is the numeric warning parents give their children to indicate that if the children don't "listen up" and do what they're told to do by the time the "magic" number is reached, there will be immediate consequences.
Probably the best and easiest time to teach a child that you are the person in charge is when that child is first starting to dish out defiance, which is typically between four and ten months old. Counting works just as well with babies this age (after they've learned how it works) as it does with fully grown children and all sizes in-between. Even little babies understand the friendly warning tone that accompanies Counting.
Another effective discipline aspect is that the functional consequence given must nullify the benefits the child earns through the commission of the offense. In other words, the consequence must be tough enough for the child to think the misbehavior was not worth it, but not so tough that the child feels disrespected. For instance, groundings have to be long enough and short enough to produce something near the middle of (1) the child's perception that the benefit was certainly worth the consequence and (2) the child's detesting of your innards. My personal Grounding Standardization Method and my Grounding Formula come in handy whenever Grounding is a fitting consequence. (Consequences should also fit the offense.)
Discipline techniques come in many varieties. As parents choose which ones to use, it's good for them to be mindful of (1) how respectful are the methods to children, and (2) are they appropriately and adequately, yet not overly consequencing to the children for their misbehavior.
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Want to find out more about effective discipline, then visit Leanna Rae Scott's site for effective discipline advice for your needs.
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